508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize