Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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