Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
this beer tastes like vomit already
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
