Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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