Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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