Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
