This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
