I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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