I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
