I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
