So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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