Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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