How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
