I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
