we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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