I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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