I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
