he wants to bone in the snuggie
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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