Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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