worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
