So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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