Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
