Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
