My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
only if we run a train.
done.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
