toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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