Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
