Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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