oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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