what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize