What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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