He disabled his match.com account in front of me
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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