I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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