I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
