Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
How external is "for external use only"?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
