they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
