They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
