all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
