Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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