I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
