Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
