I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
