dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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