So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
