You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize