HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
