My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
