even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
