I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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