Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
