I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
