do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
