im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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