bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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