Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
