I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
