I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
