Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
