There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize