he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize