Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
