Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
