i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
