I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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