He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
